C A H A Y A

01.01.11

2011-02-02T22:57:00.000+08:00

Never thought that my primary school classmate will be my “en tunang” :P

hanyut - faizal tahir

2010-12-29T00:28:00.000+08:00

Harus bagaimana lagi
Dan terus begini
Dengarkan aku
Lihat ke mataku

Cukup sudah kau menghukum
Salahku tetap salahku
Benarkan ku berbicara
Agar bisa pulih semua

Namun harus sampai bila
Kau kan diam seribu bahasa

Chorus
Maafkanlah ku tak bisa hidup tanpa kamu
Fahamilah ku tak mampu terus tanpa kamu
Bagaimana ku nanti
Bila tiada mengganti
Yang ku ada hanya kamu saja

Saat mata terpejam
Hanya kau ku terbayang
Menghapus semua segala rasa di jiwaku

Saat mata terbuka
Kamulah yang pertama
Tak mampu aku
Bayangkan
Hidup tanpa dirimu

Repeat Chorus

Aku memang bersalah
Selalu saja mengabaikan mu
Dan tapi dah ku sedari
Segala perit kau lalui
Ku terlupa kau terluka

Dan memang selalu
Aku bersalah
Selalu saja mengabaikan mu
Meninggalkan mu
Dan tetapi itulah aku sedari
Segala perit yang kau lalui
Kerna diriku yang terus hanyut

Maafkanlah ku tak bisa hidup tanpa kamu
Bagaimana ku nanti
Bila tiada mengganti
Yang ku ada hanya kamu saja

Bagaimana ku nanti
Bila kau tak di sisi
Yang ku ada hanya kamu saja

:very nice song... i loike :)

coeur

2010-11-26T07:07:00.000+08:00

broken

even it stop bleed

the scar will remain there

forever...

5 bulan di Penang

2010-11-13T10:35:00.001+08:00

esok cukup 5 bln aku ade kat penang ni, jauh dr sume kesayangans aku. yes i miss them so much. everyday when i woke up in the morning, akan kire brape hr lagi bole jumpe mereka semua. sometimes i wonder how my senior can tahan. hehe but diorg nye bf ade kat penang juga. so xde la teruk sgt.

senior aku kak sab ckp aku mmg kental gile ble mule2 dtg penang. xnangis, xmoody. haih tu kat luar je. dalam hati tuhan je tau. dh la dtg sebatang kara je kat penang ni. sume benda baru. but aku dh ckp kat diri sendir, i need to be strong. ade reason nape aku dtg sini :)

working with penang team is fun. aku ade senior yg best, kak sabrina n kak rachel. diorg dua2 pgl aku adik. hehehe. n now bf kak rachel pun pgl aku adik. mmg rase cm adik2. siyesly dua org ni la yg byk tolong aku. sbb mase start2 keje mane ade training. so blasah je la. kak sabrina n kak rachel la yg jd kamus n buku rujukan bergerak aku. dr keje smpi personal things aku pun diorg tolong. siyesly sgt baik. xkan lupe jasa korg smpi bile2.

currently aku menjaga 22 station di area perak, penang n kedah. aku suke keje aku sbb byk interact dgn org. hr2 blaja benda baru. n dealer2 aku sume very helpful. mcm2 perangai. mase mule2 aku jumpe diorg, sume cm pandang semacam. hehe mesti igt biar betul budak kecik ni nk jaga kte. yela diorg sume dh veteren. aku mule2 pun terfikir bole ke aku nk lead diorg ni. but so far ok la. but still byk kene blaja agi.

keje aku memerlukan aku byk move. station aku yg paling jauh dlm 1 1/2 jam drive. cm drive dr ipoh nk g kl je. very tiring la but still aku enjoy. aku bole handle penat tu lg. tp ble jiwa kacau sbb jauh dgn kesayangans haaa mmg la xbole blah. dh msk bln ke 3 aku dh goyah. sbb bukan senang aku nk manage ble nk blk ipoh jumpe family, ble nk blk s.alam jumpe abg syg. pastu kadang2 ade je activity menejut yg aku kene attend mase weekend. dh la ku jenis xsuke ble plan aku org kaco :P

haih... bru 5 bln. min aku kat sini dlm 3 yrs. lg 2yrs 7mths. n yes sometimes aku doubt decision aku pindah penang ni. hope boss aku yg baik hati bole pindahkan aku base kat ipoh cpt2 :P

and for now aku just pegang ape opah slalu pesan kat aku " Nurza, Allah tu maha adil. Dia xkan uji kite dengan benda yang kite xmampu nk tanggung. Nurza kene byk2 sabar. Nurza kan kuat :) ".

opah

2010-10-23T00:25:00.000+08:00

tetibe aku teringat kat opah~

sebulan sblm die meninggal die slalu ckp... "nurza jaga diri ek. nnti mak xde nurza kene pandai bwk diri" pastu aku ckp "mak nk pegi mane? mak xleh tinggal nurza. mak dah janji nk tgu nurza besar kan." pastu opah senyum je.

"mak~ nk kokong." "nurza nk pg mane? "nk g mandi... mak mandikanlah~ nurza malas :P" "ish manje betul... nnti mak xde sape nk mandikan?" "sbb tu mak kene slalu ade dgn cheq :P"

hmm mak~ cheq rindu :((

apekah!!!

2010-09-19T13:27:00.001+08:00

hari ni aku xbrape sihat... so aku g clinic nk ambik ubat...

smpi clinic doc tanye aku skt ape.. aku ckp la skt tekak, selsema, skt peroot n maybe demam.

doc tanye agi... skt perot cmne? aku ckp kembong... pastu doc tanye agi... kembong tu memulas ke, pedih ke... aku jwb kembong angin... pastu die tanye lg.. yela angin tu senak ke memulas ke...

dalam hati aku apekah doc ni.. kalo kembong tu kembong la...perut msk angin... ade ke kembong memulas, kembong pedih, kembong senak....ish2...

Air Mata Nur Salina

2010-09-19T00:21:00.000+08:00

Salina merupakan penyanyi kugiran di rumah-rumah orang kahwin di kampungnya. Kecantikan Salina sering menjadi bualan anak-anak muda disitu namun hatinya Salina terpaut kepada Fakar, seorang kerani biasa sehingga sanggup meninggalkan keluarganya dan berkahwin lari bersama Fakar di Thailand.

Selepas berkahwin, mereka berhijrah tinggal di Kuala Lumpur supaya Fakar dapat membuka perniagaan sendiri bermodalkan kesemua wang simpanan yang ada. Fakar mula lupa diri apabila perniagaannya meningkat maju.
Kawan-kawan yang mendampinginya mula mempengaruhinya bermain judi. Setiap hari mereka berjudi tanpa mengira waktu berkerja hingga akhirnya perusahaan Fakar terpaksa ditutup gara-gara banyak hutang. Akhirnya, Salina terpaksa berpindah semula ke rumah setinggan dan berkerja mencuci pejabat manakala Fakar masih menganggur dan terus mengamalkan tabiat buruknya.
Setelah beberape lame mengangur, Fakar mendapat pekerjaan. Berdasarkan penjelasan majikannya, Fakar memahami tugasnya adalah menghantar barang - ubat-ubatan. Kehidupan mereka sekeluarga bertambah baik kerana gaji Fakar yang agak lumayan. Fakar kemudiannya menyuruh Salina berhenti dari bekerja dan menjaga anak-anak mereka.
Sementara itu, tabiat judi Fakar sukar dikikis memakan diri sendiri apabila Fakar tidak dapat melangsaikan hutangnya dengan Leman sehingga isteri sendiri menjadi taruhan. Fakar terpaksa membenarkan Leman meniduri isterinya kerana kalah teruk dalam perjudian. Sejak kejadian itu Salina sudah hilang kepercayaan pada Fakar.
Keesokan harinya Fakar mendapat tugasan baru untuk menghantar barang ke luar negara. Dia mahu Salina pergi bersamanya dan membantunya. Akan tetapi Salina sudah hilang percaya pada Fakar dan menyangka Fakar mahu menjual dirinya lagi.
Fakar yang marah dengan sikap Salina mengugut mahu membunuh anak mereka. Kecewa dan marah dengan sikap Fakar, Salina hilang pertimbangan dan berlakulah pertengkaran dan pergelutan sehingga Salina membunuh Fakar.

manusia ni~

2010-09-15T23:03:00.000+08:00

manusia ni memang mudah lupa kan

semalam die ckp cmtu hr ni die wat lain

esk die nk cam lain plakselalunye tak tetap

manusia ni selalu ego kan

mulut kate lain

hati kate lain

bak kate org control macho :P

manusia ni pentingkan diri kan

die nak org ikut cara die

tapi die xnk ikut cara org

alasannye "dh mmg cmni sifat aku"

manusia ni xreti bersyukur kan

sebelum dapat ayat sume manis

dah dapat xreti nak hargai / jaga

jangan kate dgn manusia lain... dgn Yang Maha Agung pun same :P

ape aku zahirkan dalam tulisanku ini bukanlah mengata sesiapa

sekadar renungan bersama

buat diriku sendiri juga masih banyak kekurangan

...

2010-09-11T18:44:00.000+08:00

i hate myself :(

teringin ketupat daun palas 'mak'

2010-08-27T14:09:00.000+08:00

dh 17 hr puase. tgl bape hari je nk raye. cepat tul mase berlalu. tapi aku xrase cam nk raye. slalunye aku yg paling excited skali. heee sejak kecik aku mmg jenis yg cepat excited :p

kalo mase kecik, skrang ni aku tgh busy kaco 'mak' kemas2 umah, jahit baju, heee.... dan yang paling aku excited ble tgl lagi bape hari nk raye mak akan ajak teman g pasar cr daun palas n nk bli pulut... mak nk wat KETUPAT DAUN PALAS...yum yum... sedap wooo...

'mak' kalo masak ape pun sure sedap sehingga menjilat siku :P

berbalik pada cite nk wat ketupat, ble dh bli nnti kene anyam ketupat tu... heee aku slalu tersalah anyam jd ketupat betina... 'mak' cakap kene jd ketupat jantan baru bole msk pulut... hmmm bertahun dah aku xanyam ketupat... mmg xigt lgsg dah cmne :(

so bile dah abis anyam, 'mak' akan tanak pulut jadi separuh msk... kerak pulut yg melekat kat periuk yang 'mak' gune utk msk pulut tu sedap... aku slalu mkn dgn rendang ayam 'mak' msk... sedap2...

dah separuh masak pulut tu... nnti msk dalam ketupat yang dah anyam tu... then rebus smpi masak... siyes sedap...

then slalunye mak akan msk rendang ayam... kegemaran aku...heee

every year aku n family akan beraya kat melaka... kg ayah... so b4 blk melaka 'mak' akan tapaukan aku ketupat n rendang byk2... heee syg 'mak'...

nanti mase salam nk balik mak sure kasi duit raye... walaupun aku tau die xde la byk sgt duit...nnti die cium aku byk kali... n cakap "nanti mak mesti rindu nurza"... n aku slalu balas "heee cheq tau mak sure rindu, sbb cheq cucu mak yg paling best kan :P" 'mak' gelak je bile aku ckp cmtu...

then lps dapat duit raye aku slalu ckp kat 'mak'... "nnti cheq dah besar nurza kasi mak duit raye plak :)" 'mak' cakap "yeke entah2 nnti nurza lupe ka mak :P" aku cakap "cheq xkan lupe mak"....

hmmm mmg aku xpernah pun lupe 'mak'... sentiase dalam ingatan aku~

al-fatihah utk mak~

i wish

2010-08-03T20:06:00.000+08:00

i wish i'm rich...

Sunday Morning

2010-08-01T10:02:00.002+08:00

Sunday . 1st August 2010 . 9.45 am

in my bed with my notebook when you hang up the call . listening to my favorite songs . trying hard to make my tears stop but i can't . since you hang up because you have to . because you have to go to work . because you want to earn more . because you want to buy me a ring . because you want to grow old with me .

i know you feel the same . it is hard for us to be apart like this . but both of us know we are crazy in love . counting days when we will meet again . pray to GOD when can we be together .

my tears still drop like heavy rain . but i'm happy because i know it worth :)

i love you so much!!!! sepenuh hati :)

....

2010-07-31T18:40:00.000+08:00

in life i think it is very important that you are at the right time. but before that you have to work hard, be positive on what you do and pray. good things will come to you.

for me i'm consider i'm at the right time when i met adlan (my chenta hati:P); when i join my new company & north team; take over my new territory; met my good friends (emelda, azureen, DBH, hidah, nyda & more) and lots of things that happen to me at the right time.

am very grateful.

home sick

2010-06-22T19:30:00.000+08:00

Dah masuk minggu kedua aku kat Penang . So far keje ok . Aku suke keje aku skrang . Kengkawan kat tempat keje pun ok . Kepale gile sume :P

Mase first week kat sini aku steady agi . Konon2 ok la . Masuk minggu kedua aku dah goyah sket. And hari ni yang paling tak stabil skali . Rindu kengkawan DBH, rindu Datin Emelda, rindu umah ara damansara, rindu semua kengkawan, rindu family aku, dan yang paling aku rindu skali tentu la the one and only my chenta hati.

En Adlan~ sy rindu awk . Awk tunggu sy ye

debab

2010-05-30T21:43:00.000+08:00

Heee musuh n juge kawan baik aku :p
Mase kecik asik gado je… seminit je baik then gado balik…
Start rapat ble aku msk mrsm…
Tapi mase kat sekolah rendah aku bodyguard die…
Sape kaco die siap la :p
Sgt kasar – luar je tp dalam hati ade taman :p
Very good listener
Pendendam :P
Superb chef…
Suare sedap – aku kawen nnti wajib perform ok :p
Slalu ade ble aku nk die ade
Tp kadang2 menyakitkan hati gak die ni… sbb suke melawan… n muke die mase kene mrh eeee :p
One more thing kalo tak nama die Nur Zata Amni… tp aku xkasi ma tauk name tu… mane leh same name dgn aku … haha gle jahat aku

Btw debab love u so much
Will always pray for ur happiness n success

chenta hati

2010-05-30T21:20:00.000+08:00

Hahaha ape nak tulis ek…
Everytime teringat cmne bole jumpe blk mesti rase nk gelak…
He is my classmate since standard 4 until standard 6
I can’t remember any memory with him – rase cam xde cakap sgt
Suddenly meet him and fall in love
Haha so funny

He is very soft - opposite to my character – am very kasar
He change me a lot –
Dunno why but I’m kind of mendengar cakap die jugak – so weird sbb aku sgt degil sebanarnye – even die slalu ckp I’m so stubborn tp last2 aku ikut gak ckp die :)
Always wanna be by his side – if possible 24-7 :P
Very supportive – bring out the best in me
He is a funny person – always make me smile & laugh
Very romantic – I admit he is very good in words – that’s why ramai peminat
Very caring and responsible
A family-man – whatever it is family will come first
Very charming
Very intelligent – fast learner
Abisla if he baca this sure kembang :P
But he s very sensitive – slalu majuk… mengasah bakat memujuk aku :p
Kalo nk tulis 10 page pun xabis….
Whatever it is I LOVE HIM SOOOO MUCH!!!!

Mama

2010-05-30T21:03:00.001+08:00

A person that I most respect
Has a pure heart
Very strong
Never meet a person that have patient like her
willing to sacrifice for others happiness
A very good mother, wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, friend, employee
Am very grateful because she is my mom :)

Thank you Allah

2010-05-30T20:51:00.000+08:00

I am grateful
To have this amazing life
To have the opportunity to feel happy and sad
To have a wonderful family – ayah, ma, yana, wan, eisya & opah
To have a lovely chenta hati
To have fantastic friends
To have superb job

Thank you ya Rahman ya Rahim

rasa indah

2010-05-13T08:56:00.000+08:00

mencintaimu~
sepenuh hati dan jiwaku
tiada pernah terfikir bisa mencintai seperti ini
perasaan ini terlalu kuat buatmu
ingin ku luah semua
agar kau bisa mengerti
namun tak tahu bagaimana.

biar berjuta kali ku lafaz kata cinta
namun takkan pernah kurasa puas
kerna masih luas jurang antara apa yang kurasa dengan apa yang kulafaz
kadang-kadang ku bingung
memikirkan bagaimana ingin ku pamerkan rasa ku padamu

hari berlalu
dan aku masih bersamamu
dan ku janji akan terus bersamamu
walau terkadang ada yang menghalang
akan ku hadap semua
demi kasihku padamu

jangan pernah pertikai rasa ini
jangan pernah persoal pilihanku
kerna aku tidak punya jawapan
yang ku tahu
rasa ini sangat indah dan amat dalam
dan akan sentiasa terpelihara dalam lubuk hatiku

ku bersyukur pada tuhan
pertemukan aku dgn mu
satu anugerah yang indah
hari-hari ku berdoa agar kita berkekalan
agar ku bisa menghabiskan setiap detik bersamamu

p/s : omg gile jiwang aku :P
tp rase nk tulis jugak

a wonderful nite with nyda

2010-04-25T09:06:00.000+08:00

Last nite i had a dinner date with my ex-roommate + and ex-classmate - Nyda. We went to Delicious at Jalan Pinang. The place was great but the desert was so so. I had a chocolate banana cake and hot mocha while Nyda had something like peach oat with ice cream and drink~ am not very sure.

We've plan this meetup since last Friday. Suppose we go lunch together but we postpone it to dinner since Nyda had something to did at her office.

It is a challenging to find a place to go since it was Saturday Nite. Every place that Nyda called had been fully booked. At last the Delicious at Jalan Penang. Hehe thank u Nyda for ur hard work to find a place to hangout :)

By 8.15pm i went out from my place. Thank God traffic was clear. So I arrive at Lembaga Getah at 9pm sharp. Then after that we went to Delicious together since i'm not very familiar with that area.

Delicious at Jalan Pinang is in a condo. The condo was so "canggih". When i entered the parking lot, many luxurious car inside the parking - Lamborghini, Ferrari, Bentley, Audy, Fairlady, Bmw and more. Pergh~

And the lift was also "canggih" - masuk pintu lain kuar pintu lain. hehe

We hangout until 11.30pm. I had a wonderful chit chat with Nyda.

Thank you Nyda. Hope there will be next time :P

surau

2010-04-17T09:43:00.000+08:00

16 . 04 . 2010

Aku n Emelda g jobstreet career fair. ok la career fair tu. byk gak big companies yg join. aku smpi situ lbh kurang kul 1 cmtu... jalan2 kat situ until kul 4... so aku pun mencari la surau.

memandangkan aku jarang bertandang di midvalley tu, aku cm ingat2 lupe je surau die kat mane... so ikut la signboard. pastu emelda berkata "i rase better u g surau yang kat area the garden. maybe better yg kat midvalley" aku pun ok la. dh jumpe surau area foodcourt the garden. ish2. lokasi surau sungguh menyedihkan. pastu dh msk surau... ya Allah... mcm dlm sauna... xde aircond or kipas... aircond rosak... bole tak midvalley n the garden yg besar gedabak tu bole sediakan surau cikai cmtu... surau plaza alam sentral 50x lg better. ish2... dhla midvalley n the garden tu ramai tourist yg dtg... sungguh memalukan...

pas solat tu aku n emelda trus g pyramid... lepak sane plak plus nk antar hp adlan g nokia care... surau pyramid best :)

Taurus

2010-04-16T00:16:00.000+08:00

Taurus people are food freaks, they have a sweet tooth and so they love cinnamon, nutmeg and marshmallows.

Taurus have strong sense of details and without scrutiny nothing could surpass their careful eyes.

However #Taurus kids are consistent with their moves and try to understand the reasons behind every rule

A #Taurus sometimes tend to become over possessive, controlling, and extremely concerned with money,security, and convenience.

Taurus expressions of love are highly physical since they love hugs, kisses and touches.

Taurus In their list of enjoyments they are addicted to creature comforts like foods

The #Taurus lead lives where they want everything to be perfect and settled then they are happy.

Taurus are proved to be a loyal boyfriend, a responsible husband and a true companion. - i think can be implement to a Taurus wife :p

Taurus are too much tolerant during trouble and it takes a lot to get them angry.

On the domestic fronts, #Taurus is socially amiable person and so they love to attend parties or to entertain

One of the most emphatic qualities in a #Taurus is that they are tolerant, diplomatic and easy going.

Taurus people are not only good friends but they are proved to be a prospective business partners.

p/s JUST FOR FUN

Love Song

2010-03-24T09:58:00.002+08:00

I've never written a love song
That didn't end in tears
Maybe you'll rewrite my love song
If you can replace my fears
I need your patience and guidance
And all your lovin' and more
When thunder rolls through my life
Will you be able to weather the storm?
There's so much I would give ya, baby
If I'd only le myself
There's this well of emotions
I feel I must protect
But what's the point of this armor
If it keeps the love away, too?
I'd rather bleed with cuts of love
Than live without any scars
Baby, can I trust this?
Or do all things end?
I need to hear that you'd die for me
Again and again and again
So tell me when you look in my eyes
Can you share all the pain and happy times
'Cause I will love you for the rest of my life
This is my very first love song
That didn't end in tears
I think you re-wrote my love song
For the rest of my years
I wil love you for the rest of my Life

*pink*

luv of my life

2010-03-23T21:50:00.000+08:00

i wish they know how much i luv them .
i wish they can see that i need them badly in my life .
i wish i can be the best like what they wanted .
i wish i had showered them with luv and joy .
i wish that i have made them proud .
i wish i never break their heart .

coz they are very important to me and i noe i just can't live without them .

dear chenta . ayah . ma . yana . safwan . eisya

luv u so much :*
am sorry for things i've done dat hurt u

l o v e

2010-03-07T08:50:00.000+08:00

love is something you can't predict . but still people love being in love . love is so powerful . it can make you strong but can also make u weak . love can bring happiness and sorrow . love can make people cared about others and vice versa . love can make people become so soft and so cold . love can make people stay and make people leave . love can make a person become better or worst . and the best part about love is love can make people sacrifice everything they have .

such a powerful feeling~ make me feel scared...

hilang

2010-03-07T07:37:00.000+08:00

Bagai semalam ku bersua
Wajah yang memiliki cinta
Masih teguh kupelihara setia
Sanggup kau tinggalkan semua
Membawa segala

Di mana ku letakkan jiwa ini
Seakan berterbangan untuk mencari tempatnya
Hatiku kan selama
Memuja dan menyinta
Kau kekasihku
Hilang
Pergi merantau
Mengapa

Tak rela diriku terjaga
Belum sedarku buka mata
Siang malam berlalu sama
Saja
Sukar untukku lepasi
Hari yang mendatang

Tak daya menahan air mata
Dan meratapi hiba menyesal dan meronta oh
Hatiku kan selama memuja dan menyinta
Kau kekasihku
Hilang

Jauh melangkah
Tinggalkan semua
Berakhirlah sudah tiada gunanya menyalahi
Sesiapa
Bangunkan daku segera
Dari lena

Jauh melangkah
Menghilang
Tiada ku kesalkan
Biarlah
Ku rela

my story part 1

2010-02-27T12:32:00.000+08:00

i wish to have a very happy family where we can spend more time together . g vacation ke . dinner kat luar same2 . kemas umah same2 . hmmm i'm not saying dat i'm not grateful wit wut i have now . but it would be better if my parents have more time for me n my siblings .

i was born in a family dat my parents sgt la busy . i didn't blame them coz i noe they've work hard for us . so almost sume benda i did by my own . i started staying home alone since i was standard 1 . memang i have a babysitter yg jaga - nenek sblh umah (sgt merindui nek zah) . but xtau i just went to nek zah's house for lunch je . then after dat dah start with my own activities :p .

ayah mase tu keje bwk teksi . so timing keje xtentu . ma jela yg slalu melayan aku yg hyper active ni :p . sian ma hehehe . then ble ade my second sis yana . ayah n ma lg busy . sbb have to support 2 anak . hmmm poor them :(

yana n me lain2 babysitter . yana nye umah babysitter kat hujung row umah aku . nenek die kaye (bak kate nek zah yg jaga aku :p) aku sgt syg yana even slalu gle gado . gado smpi ade one time ayah laga kpale kteorg hahaha biul jap mase tu :p . so hari2 after lunch i will go n visit si debab (yana dat time sgt la debab n comel n putih - aku suke gle cubit pipi die n die suke gigit aku) . tapi nenek yana seems xsuke aku sgt sbb aku hyper active . n ade je activity yg aku nk wat ngan yana . yana ofcoz la akan join aku kan .

so ade one day tu mase aku tgh main2 dgn yana, nenek tu suh aku balik aku cam tak nak sbb tengah syok main . pastu die cakap kat aku nek zah pgl balik . so aku pun pegi la umah nek zah . once aku kuar je n start jalan g umah nek zah aku tgh nenek tu bwk yana kuar umah naik kete . aku lari g umah nenek yana tapi diorg dah pegi :( . so after dat i went to umah nek zah . aku nangis kat nek zah even aku xpaham ape aku rase dat time but aku rase sgt sedey . then aku igt nek zah ckp "lain kali jgn la slalu pegi sane . diorg xsuke ." then aku ckp "tp adik nurza ade kat sane . nurza nk main ngan yana ." then nek zah nangis n peluk aku . die ckp "xpe la nurza main kat sini . main dgn nenek ek ." sedeynye . gle discriminate . from that day aku memang xsuke nenek yana . aku xpegi sane slalu . n ble balik umah yana slalu tanye nape aku xdatang sane sangat . die bosan xde kawan nak main . aku cakap aku ade banyak keje skolah .

dah aku tulis takat ni je dulu . nnti smbg lagi . terasa nak nangis plak . huhuhu

i miss you

2010-01-24T19:27:00.000+08:00

last nite . when i'm all alone in my room . then i realize how much i miss u . tears drop from my eyes and i keep calling your name even i know that you will not come back .

it has been and ages since you left me . but still i can't find anyone that can replace you . the way you looked at me . the way you hugged me . the way you kissed me . the way you treated me . the way you talked to me . the way you smile at me . the way you loved me . all that still fresh in my memory .

oh how much i wish i can turn back time . so that i can do better for you . show you how much i love u . how much i care . how priceless you are to me .

your love so pure . until you can bare with all my stupidity , naughtiness , n sume la yg xbest psl aku yg orang lain xleh tahan . sometimes when i think back all the memories with you make me so happy because at least i have that happy moments with you .

you are the one who make me move on even sometimes i feel like i can't make it . your memories make me feel that no matter what had happened and will happen i'll make sure that i fulfill my promise to you .

thank you .
thank you .
thank you .

may Allah place you with a good person . Amin .

al-Fatihah~

s e m e n t a r a

2010-01-20T10:08:00.000+08:00

Hidup ini hanyalah sementara hanya pinjaman dari TUHAN . Ungkapan yang aku rasa sudah sebati dengan kita semua . Namun sejauh mana kita berpegang pada ungkapan ini?

Jadi boleh kukupas dari ungkapan tersebut segala yang ada dimuka bumi ini adalah pinjaman seperti harta benda, kebijaksanaan, pangkat dan darjat dan sebagainya . Dan aku kira orang-orang yang kita kasihi juga adalah pinjaman . Jadi mengapa kita harus pertikaikan pabila orang yang kita kasihi berlalu pergi?

Mungkin tempoh pinjaman kita sudah luput . Atau mungkin TUHAN tarik balik pinjamanNYA kerana DIA lihat kita tidak bersyukur, menghargai dan lalai dengan pinjamannya . Kerana memang sifat manusia tidak akan menghargai selagi tidak kehilangan . Jadi menarik balik pinjaman adalah pengajaran terbaik bagi manusia .

Namun adakah kita sedar yang TUHAN sedang mengajar kita . Dan aku akui aku juga akan goyah jika berada dalam situasi kehilangan . Dan memang aku pernah rasa kehilangan . Sakit . Pilu . Sunyi . Hingga kini aku fobia dengan kehilangan . Namun sebentar tadi aku terdetik untuk menulis apa yang selama ini kutakutkan . Orang kata menulis adalah salah satu saluran meluahkan perasaan . Dan mungkin selepas ini aku menjadi lebih tabah dan bersedia menghadapi kehilangan yang aku sedar akan berlaku cuma belum pasti masa dan ketikanya .

Hmmm ramai antara kita yang bilamana putus cinta ibarat putus harapan . Tidak boleh menerima bahawa kekasihnya telah berubah hati . Tidak boleh menerima perasan cinta yang dibaja sekian lama hilang begitu sahaja . Mengapa kita menidakkan hukum TUHAN ?

Tiada yang tetap melainkanNYA . Jika DIA bertitah maka jadilah apa yang dikehendakinya . Kita hanya mampu berdoa dan berusaha .

Tuhan pernah berfirman dalam ayat ke 286 di dalam surah Al-Baqarah yang bermaksud: “Allah tidak
membebankan seseorang itu melainkan mengikut keupayaannya”? Jadi mengapa kita perlu jadi tidak keruan dan menyerah kalah hanya disebabkan dengan kehilangan ?

Percayalah ada yang lebih baik menanti kita pada masa hadapan .

ape entah

2010-01-17T12:07:00.000+08:00

lebih kurang 3 mgu dah aku berhenti kerja and bercuti . haha mgu lepas je keje aku berjalan xhenti-henti . i had wonderful week with frens . thank u guys .

and now back to reality . xkan nk enjoy je smpi mati kan . so i have decided to run my own business . nk keje sendiri . hehe even ramai gak yg agak meragui dgn decision aku ni tp xpela . kalo xtry xtau .

start on monday i will play a role as managing director of elllevena . aku dapat rase bukan senang but xpela . i will take the risk .

so doakan aku ok .

dah la nk g wat keje . tuli lg nnti .

saya sangat mahu!!!

2010-01-10T08:31:00.001+08:00

argh!!!! sgt mahu slr... tp now dh xde keje... ayok kene cr job cepat ni... have to buy slr this year gak... for a start aku target nk buy Nikon D3000 dulu... nnti ade duit lbh tukar advance sket...

dah ade slr bru best nk g jln2 n snap gambar byk2... nnti nk g beach... waterfall... dan byk agi... haha aku kan kaki berjalan... kene decide keje yg best ni.... kalo tak mmg sume ni dalam mimpi jela :p

a come back

2010-01-08T15:27:00.001+08:00

it's been a long time that i didn't write anything... i've tried but i don't know, i just can't... coz when i write... i write with my heart... and these few months my heart was not stable.. feel kind a bit lost... trying hard to get back on track... too many things happened in my life...

anyway i guess i'm ok now... yeah ok... so for a start just wanna write anything...

just finish watching kungfu panda... was a nice story... really enjoy it and the message in this movie was so meaningful and had touch my heart... thank you to KUMARAN :)... yeah i really need this kind of movie now since i have issue regarding what i wanna do after this...

it's been a week that i've quit my job... and still i didn't decide what i want to d after this... i have 2 options... 1st is job hunting, work with people... 2nd run my own business or work for myself...

it is a tough decision to make... haih... life is about making choices and i don't want to pick a wrong option... but there is no right and wrong decision because at that particular time our decision is right based on the information that we have at that time...

how eh...

what is so good being in love?

2009-10-29T16:22:00.001+08:00

Being in love will open possibilities for you to get hurt
Your heart will be unstable and easily get emotional
You will not react the way you should
Everything will be base on you emotion
You will become weak when you are in love
Easily distracted by your lover’s actions
You will be dependent to your partner
No freedom and sometimes no justice
You will forgive even the mistake should not be forgiven
And usually you put your partner first then yourself in every action you want to take
The best part is people will be blind and stupid when they are in love.

So,
What is so good being in love?

what color is my soul...

2009-09-27T12:35:00.000+08:00

You’re soul is gold, the colour of goodness, bravery and leadership. Gold souls are warm and friendly to anyone around them. They make anyone feel welcome and treat everyone as an equal. Their good deeds make them popular all around and many people go to them for help, advice, or even just a good chat. Gold souls will always put others before themselves.

However, gold souls will often neglect their own emotions as they so often act on what will make others happy.

Although you may want to please everyone all the time, stop and think of your actions. Does it make you happy or are you living with a terrible sadness while others around you walk away happy? Do something for yourself once in a while. Look out for number 1!

i'm sorry darling

2009-09-16T18:33:00.000+08:00

It’s been a long time since i jumpe nyda n nadeeya. So, today I decide to meet them for berbuka. But, apparently hujan lebat gle. I dah excited gle nak jumpe nyda. I’m sorry darling. Next time we go ronggeng rokiah. Take care. I miss you.

kehilangan

2009-09-06T00:35:00.000+08:00

hati merintih perit meratap hiba
saat kusedari kau ingin pergi
pergi tanpa sebarang alasan
yang lebih menyakitkan tak ku tahu apa khilafku
sedang aku masih tercari-cari
kau makin jauh
melangkah tanpa menoleh lagi

maafkan aku jika ada dosaku padamu
tiada niat di hati menyakitimu
dan aku juga masih tercari dosa2 ku
yang mungkin terlalu besar
hingga kau terpaksa melangkah
meninggalkan ku

live well, love much, laugh often...

2009-09-04T10:22:00.000+08:00

saturday, 30th august 09. i've found a book at mph jusco ipoh title "LIVE WELL, LOVE MUCH, LAUGH OFTEN". it really catch my attention. then i decide to buy it.

monday, 31st august 09. i've started to read that book. the intro is full of motivations and i hope by reading this book i can find the way how to live my life like before...

i really hope.

Manusia penilai yg terbaik

2009-08-13T12:15:00.001+08:00

manusia memang suka menilai...
menilai apa yang dilihat dengan mata kasar...
dan menzahirkan ape yang dirasa...
tanpa mentafsir dengan mata hati...
lalu membuat kesimpulan....
kesimpulan yang belum pasti kesahihannya...
lalu telah mereka pahatkan sebagai teori...
yang diguna pakai sehingga satu penemuan baru muncul...
itulah manusia...

Bahagia

2009-08-13T12:10:00.001+08:00

bahagia...
di mana kamu...
di mana bahagia yang dicari...
kata orang bahagia itu indah...
kata orang bahagia itu akan membuatkan kita di awangan...
tak hairanlah orang sanggup korbankan apa sahaja untuk bahagia...

itu kata orang lain...
kata hati hatiku...

padaku bahagia itu cahaya...
yang menerangi hidup...
membuatkan semuanya indah...
23 tahun kuhabiskan mencari bahagia...
namun belum tentu suku dari hayatku... rasa bahagia...
padaku bahagia itu amat susah untuk dimiliki...
tidak bisa dibeli...

bahagia adalah rasa...
rasa yang sukar datang namun mudah untuk pergi...
jadi mengapa manusia tidak menghargai bahagia yang ada...
mengapa tidak nampak kah kalian bahagia itu...
buka mata hatimu...

hidup hanya sementara...
dan bahagia hanya seketika...
ada duka yang sentiasa menunggu...
mengapa undang duka jika kita mampu pertahankan kebahagiaan...

mengapa...
mengapa...

Masih Ada - My 2nd Love Song

2009-08-13T12:05:00.000+08:00

Ada bayanganmu di mataku

Dan senyummu membuatku rindu

Bagaimana caranya oh sayangku

Ku ingin jumpa dengan kamu

Bagaimana caranya

Aku yakin di antara kita

Masih ada cinta yang membara

Bagaiman caranya oh kasihku

Ku ingin juga kau mengerti

Bagaimana caranya

Haruskah kuteteskan air mata di pipi

Haruskah kucurahkan s'gala isi di hati

Oh haruskah kau ku peluk

Dan tak kulepas lagi

Agar tiada pernah ada

Kata berpisah

Lupakanlah cerita kelabu

Kita susun lagi langkah baru

Bagaimana caranya oh cintaku

Bagaimana caranya....

cintamu... my love song

2009-08-13T12:02:00.000+08:00

Cintamu,
Yang kurasa walau tak terucap,
S'makin dalam
Cintamu,yang terukir di batas cintaku,
Selamanya

Tak pernah kumencoba,
Lepaskan cintamu walau sesaat,
Sejujurnya diriku terlalu sayang padamu
Kuingin s'lalu dalam,
Cintamu

Dan tiada yang kan memisahkan,
Selamanya
Cintamu,
Yang terlimpas, terbias matamu
S'lama ini

Adakah di hatimu,
Terbesit satu harapan untukku
Tuk berjanji selamanya kan selalu milikku

Satu cinta,
Tak pernah kumencoba,
Lepaskan cintamu walau sesaat,
Sejujurnya diriku terlelu sayang padamu
Kuingin s'lalu dalam,
Cintamu...

life is complicated

2009-04-30T01:10:00.000+08:00

life is something that cannot be explained with words
how we explain it will be different from the real
if you heard that a person said he/she is happy
it means that he/she must be so happy or moderate happy
if he/she said he/she is sad
it may means he/she is very sad or moderate sad
this show that there is no specific word that can describe exactly about human feelings
no one will understand what you feel
you are the only one who know about it
so, think about yourself first before others
what you feel is more important
it is not being selfish
but...
it just to love yourself more.

i wish...

2009-02-08T19:33:00.000+08:00

i wish...
to make everyone happy
to shine everyone with my love
to make everyone feel appreciated.

i wish...
i can hide my pain
hide every tears that fall each night
hide my loneliness that i feel every time i woke up in morning.

i wish...
i can be stronger
to hide how lost i am in life

but...
i was wrong
i am a heart breaker
not a shinning start that can shine people that i care
i'm sorry love
i'm sorry...

l.o.v.e

2008-10-22T05:17:00.000+08:00

A simple word with huge meaning.
Love is a feeling that colored people’s life.
Love is when you care about others.
Love make you cry.
Love make you smile.
And love make you sing.
Everyone spend their entire life searching for true love.
But they forget one thing about love…

Love is giving other people opportunity to hurt you.

C A H A Y A

2008-06-04T12:47:00.000+08:00

kamulah cahaya
cahayaku

cahaya kebangkitan
cahaya kelahiran semula
cahaya yang terpelihara

kamulah cahaya
cahayaku